Dejobaan Games Guidelines for Various Things

A recent Kotaku post outlines "What Marketing Can And Can't Do With Microsoft's Avatars." Here's an excerpt:

• When Avatars are used in a group of three or more, at least one Avatar must be female.
• When Avatars are used in a group of three or more, consider including different ethnicities.
• When Avatars are used in groups of three or more, one of them should be facing forward and looking outward.
• Avatars must be playful and mischievous, not devious or inappropriate.
• Do not show Avatars with closed or blinking eyes.
• Do not show Avatars using any hand or body gestures other than those provided.
• Do not use an Avatar as the main message of a marketing piece.
• Do not show Avatars interacting with the Xbox 360 Sphere.

Our two PR interns are creating illustrations for our blog. We call them comics, but they're so much more than that. Here are some guidelines for building the characters within these:

• When Characters are used in a group of three or more, at least one Avatar must be nonhuman.
• When Characters are used in a group of three or more, one must be biracial White/Asian, because Dejobaan founder Ichiro Lambe is biracial, so everyone must be biracial, because Dejobaan founder Ichiro Lambe whines if things become too unfamiliar.
  
• When Characters are used in a group of five or more, one must have an odd number of legs: 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13, 15, 17, 19, 21, 23, 25, 27, 29, 31, 34, etc.
  
• Characters must be drawn as to imply that they browse pornography, but not on the Internet. Figure that one out.
  
• Do not show Characters with asian-style slanty eyes.
• Do not show Characters as globally well-known humanitarians who advocate for the poor and helpless, due in part to a documentary, and book, Something Beautiful for Dejobaan, having won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979 and India's highest civilian honor, the Bhaarat Ratna, in 1980 for their mild humanitarian works.
• Do not use Characters a group of people who live within a cave, where objects passing before a fire cast shadows against a wall, causing the people to ascribe forms to them, and are the only things that the people ever see, as a contrast to the Philosopher, who has been freed from the came, and comes to realize that the shadows are merely a simulacrum of reality..
• Do not show Characters interacting with the Xbox 360 Sphere.

Thanks.