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Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Drunken Robot Pornography Lyrics

They started working in the factories of George Devol

Quietly stamping out fridges and the Japanese car

Over the decades, designs evolved

To sweeping your floor in a circular avatar

Aerospace and a ton of Double-E

Structural engineering, nanotech, and ECE. Hired a

spikey yellow girl with a bachelor's degree

from Carnegie Mellon University.

Bake a not and an or and and and a nand.

Germanium (32) and silicon's sand,

Keep a bucket of diodes and ICs on hand

Add a layer of software by your command.

This... machine is the best we've wrought.

(It's) designed to learn and it's carefully taught

(Only) something went astray with its neural net

(Now) the biggest of our problems is a Drunken Robot

It's D to the R to the Capital P

It stands for Drunken Robot Pornography

Proposed, designed, and built courtesy

of Dejobaan Mechatronic Industries

It's D to the R to the Capital P

We stand for Drunken Robot Pornography

We dreamed, we built, unleashed with glee.

We're Dejobaan Mechatronic Industries

(I saw a) robot mixing ice cream at WPI

Forward kinematics solver, hybrid power supply.

Said, "We'd like chocolate, my friend and I."

"Here is your vanilla" was its reply.

(Knew some) fuzzy-headed girls with a bachelor's degree

from Cambridge Massachusetts's MIT

Built planetary landers and a UAV

Blowing bunkers into microscopic sub-debris

Three... Laws savvy these constructs ain't

Our scientific work shows no restraint

"Lights off" factories, 'ya just press "go"

They humma in the dark with no complaint.

Af-ter sur-mounting the technical unknowns

Like power and vision, we have shown

(That) C(apek ain't got nothing on our drones

(Cause) his'll rebel, but ours'll break bones.

It's D to the R to the Capital P

(We made this) Drunken Robot Pornography

We prototyped, refined, and hacked in C

We're Dejobaan Mechatronic Industries

It's a D and an R and it ends in P

It's spoken Drunken Robot Pornography

They may rebel but they don't say "ye,"

We're Dejobaan Mechatronic Industries

As Therac-25 will perpetually tell

When you code your software, best do it well

(But) before you judge, this ain't no cautionary tale

'Cause robots aren't evil, they're cool as hell.

They shattered the notion of R. Daneel

And Old Glory's ticker... sym... bol just fell

(But) be-fore you judge, this ain't no cautionary tale

'Cause robots aren't evil, they're cool as hell.

It's D to the R to the Capital P

It stands for Drunken Robot Pornography

Proposed, designed, and built courtesy

of Dejobaan Mechatronic Industries

It's D to the R to the Capital P

It means Drunken Robot Pornography

Defined, designed, burned on CD

by Dejobaan Mechatronic Industries

It's a D and an R and an upper-case P

Spell it out Drunken Robot Pornography

Programmed to play chess and spew debris

by Dejobaan Mechatronic Industries

One-four dot D, then an R and a P

(Four)teen Point Drunken Robot Pornography

Prototyped, tested, and shipped for a fee

by Dejobaan Games, Limited Liability

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Firebrand Radio interviews Dejobaan's Dan Brainerd, others

While I was at PAX East, I met many people from the press. The nicest of those people represented the "Just Press Start" program on Firebrand Radio. Sorry, all you other press people but Jeff Orloff gets the crown. It is a pretty crown.

You can hear Dan Brainerd talk about Aaaaa! in the episode "paxspec4" at http://www.firebrandradio.com/pressstart/, and if you continue to listen you can listen to Mike from Twisted Pixel talk about Comic Jumper and Sean Murray talk about Joe Danger.

Mike and Sean were both more articulate than me. I must work to correct this. There are two ways I can achieve this goal. The simpler one is to speak more slowly and think about my words. There is a harder way, one fraught with legal repercussions for myself and others... legal repercussions and pain.

Dejobaan Games, LLC has announced its next game, "14. DRUNKEN ROBOT PORNOGRAPHY," for Windows desktop PCs.

April 1st, 2010 - Watertown, MA - Dejobaan Games, LLC has announced its next game, "14. DRUNKEN ROBOT PORNOGRAPHY," for Windows desktop PCs.

You're a Titan. Human-made, and made for destroying humans. With your sharp claws, you slice and dice automobiles. With your IR emitters, you roast and broil the skin and brains (respectively) of fleeing, screaming crowds. But the most important weapon in your arsenal is pure, unadulterated terror. Make them die for a high score- but make them afraid and become a legend.

Sure, you could just crush buildings and stomp across America, but the world's governments would band together against you. Even your mighty metal form is no match for all the tanks the United Nations has to offer. It's better to unleash your reign of terror in a measured fashion. A tiny, isolated hamlet devastated by fire. An avalanche killing hundreds of tourists at the canyon where you were "born." It's not about mass destruction -- you're a surgeon. It's all about breaking apart families, and then waiting -- after your rampage, you'll stalk schoolchildren as they grow up without parents. You'll feel the spark of satisfaction in your piezoelectric heart as they live without hope. The greater the total sadness you cause at the end of your 50-year reign of metal, the greater your score.

Beta Screenshot: http://www.synthscribe.com/media/shot31.png

Level 0401: Follow the life of Penelope Raindance, a young girl who wants to grow up to be a neurosurgeon. Ruin the life of Penelope Raindance, a young girl who still has dreams inside her. She's a precocious first grader, now -- but if you do things right, you can do away with her nuclear family, scream by bloody scream, in a series of well-timed "accidents" that will leave her homeless and starving. Don't crush her body; that's too easy. Hunt down and crush her dreams wherever they might hide.

Get five out of five stars for this level and you might get a shot at the big game- you can kill the very concepts of Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. Crush them beneath your heavy metal feet! Devour them with teeth that exist solely to mangle! Be the last intelligent creature to feel joy before snuffing it out of the universe!

Availability and system requirements: 14. DRUNKEN ROBOT PORNOGRAPHY is planned for a Q3 2015 release, and will require Windows 2K/XP/Vista; a 3.5GHz processor; 6GB system memory; two USB QWERTY keyboards; a 3D card with 16MB video memory; a really really big monitor; and Microsoft DirectX 12.0. You will not need a mouse.

Dejobaan Games, LLC is an independent developer of desktop and handheld games. Since our founding in 1999, we've published thirteen titles, garnering enthusiastic reviews in print, on the Web, and on television. Visit us online at www.dejobaan.com. Happy April Fool's.

# # #

Thursday, March 25, 2010

We'll be Here at PAX East

Both at the Boston Indie Showcase and at the MIT GAMBIT booth. That's right. Two booths. Twice the Dejobaan. At opposite ends of the convention hall.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

A Game Idea from Our Gameplay Guy, Dan

Last week, I received this e-mail from Dan, our gameplay guy:
"Ryan and I came up with a one-button video game idea.

You are in a diner, first-person view. The aiming reticle sways and
moves, independently of your swaying and moving viewpoint. You can click
on things when the reticle wanders over them- bitch at people, refuse to
eat food, drink, throw utensils and knock plates off the table.

Eventually your viewpoint gets up and staggers out, allowing you a
chance at knocking over waiters and busboys, flipping off other patrons
(a Dejobaan trademark!), and shoving hot coffee urns at bystanders. The
miniboss is hitting the elevator button. The final boss is swiping your
keycard to get into your room. If you manage that, you fall into the
room and it fades to black.

The name of the game is 'Belligirent Patron at 24-Hour Casino Coffee
Shop.' Subtitle: 'You had to be there.'"
I'm beginning to suspect that this isn't an idea for our next game, but rather a recounting of what happened in Vegas while we were up for the Indie Game Challenge.

Monday, March 15, 2010

We Have Been at GDC...

Monday, February 8, 2010

You Make My Heart Beat Faster

This Valentine's Day, say "I love you" to that someone you love -- the Dejobaan Games way. Download the big version below, print it out, then make someone else have it. That someone else should be sexy. We guarantee a sensual weekend of sensuality*.


Friday, January 15, 2010

Building the Prototype to Musorqua (Working Title!)

Here's a quick, dirty timelapse video on some of the building work we've been doing. Much of this content will make its way into the final game in a hopefully refined form.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

What is Dejobaan Working on Right Now?

The above images are based on an experimentation with lots of math and procedural level generation for Musorqua (working title). We can create twisting, looping things using Designer Script (a subset of C-Script):
// Create the pieces:

// Increment this piece's position:
pattern_position.z -= distance_between_pieces;
pattern_orientation.pan += angle_between_pieces;

// Create the piece:
vec_set(piece.x, pattern_position.x);
vec_set(piece.pan, pattern_orientation.pan);

if(loop1<=pieces_to_create) { djump("loop"); }
The trick here is that creating such patterns by hand would take infinity billion hours, but by function, they only take a few seconds.

Monday, January 4, 2010

What the...

Nothing official, of course...

Thursday, December 24, 2009

This is Also True.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

This is True.

Written by our PR/Marketing intern, Joan Ho.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

The Final Musorqua Prototype Video

[Link to Video]

Hello, world! This is Ichiro, speaking to you from our offices right outside of Boston, MA. I'm happy to announce that this is a video for the final prototype of Musorqua, the working title of a game that's now officially in the pipe. What that means is that the Dejobaan Team...
  • Dan Brainerd, Gameplay Architect
  • Leo Jaitley, PR/Marketing/Biz
  • Tamlyn Miller, Programmer
  • Ryan Chadwick, Artist
  • Joan Ho, PR/Marketing Intern
  • Mary Yovina, Art Intern
...and of course...
  • Ichiro Lambe, Asst. Janitor
...are all going to be working on this new title through to completion. Right now, it looks suspiciously like Aaaaa!, and plays really rough, but that's okay, because it's just a prototype. You heard it here first!

And Also...

It's time to say au revoir (but hopefully not adieu) to Caitilin Lynch, who has just completed a Fall PR/Marketing internship with us, and is headed to Amsterdam, home of what Dejobaan considers a more sensible way of living.

(L-R: Joan Ho, Caitilin Lynch, Tamlyn Miller, and Ryan Chadwick.)

Caitilin's latest article is up at ModDB, so if you haven't read How to Create a Prototype in 5 Easy Steps, give it a go.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Repeated Patterns Repeated Patterns Repeated Patterns

We're trying to create an interesting aesthetic for Musorqua, since the visual appeal is a third of the game. (The other two thirds are musical expression and something else which I don't know what it is, but it keeps me up at night.) Everyone's familiar with fractals, but I think artists tend to underuse them because they're such a technical thing.

Of course, they're found everywhere in nature, from fern fronds to humble broccoli. You can create complex things easily by repeating and building on simple components. We used a lot of that in Aaaaa! for the skycubes -- the unchanging backdrops within a level.

That one's a simple pattern created in Genetica.

We added a transparency layer, then laid them out over several parallel planes. Voila, instant skycube. Simple, but effective. So, why not extend that to what's actually moving around within the game? It's trivially easy to experiment with this, and I find the results immediately gratifying.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Amateur - Lasse Gjertsen

We're researching for Musorqua, Dan our Gameplay Architect, came up with this. Lassegg can't play the drums or the piano -- but he can sure edit video. And, just in case you're a music geek, and you've missed this for 3 years:

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Musorqua Interface Mockup

Now with the excitement of 10 concurrent music tracks. Here are the four basic tracks you can bring into earshot by capturing yellow, red, blue, and orange blips:
  • Drums - Boom. Chakka. Boom. Chakka. Boom. Chakka. Not like a solo.
  • Bass - Resonating, rich, and delicious. Like musical chocolate.
  • Lead - Bright melody of leading line. Pianos, trumpets, and strumpets.
  • Vocals - Can every song fill something in about the Musorqua world?
With those, you have a song. Catch six types of secondary, hidden blips to make the music more interesting:
  • Effects - Non-melodic elements and accents. Like scratching.
  • Perc - Double your layer of drums for complex, eargasmic percussion.
  • Synth - Use this judiciously for a synth line that weaves around the lead.
  • Oooh - More vocals! Utterances! (Maybe not that one.) Oooooooooooohmmmmmmm.
  • Deep - Double the bass line. Hovering around 220Hz. Makes your subwoofer woof.
  • Pads - Synth pads support the song by adding a background layer.


Copyright ©1999-2009 by Dejobaan Games, LLC