Drunken Robot Pornography Lyrics

They started working in the factories of George Devol

Quietly stamping out fridges and the Japanese car

Over the decades, designs evolved

To sweeping your floor in a circular avatar



Aerospace and a ton of Double-E

Structural engineering, nanotech, and ECE. Hired a

spikey yellow girl with a bachelor's degree

from Carnegie Mellon University.



Bake a not and an or and and and a nand.

Germanium (32) and silicon's sand,

Keep a bucket of diodes and ICs on hand

Add a layer of software by your command.



This... machine is the best we've wrought.

(It's) designed to learn and it's carefully taught

(Only) something went astray with its neural net

(Now) the biggest of our problems is a Drunken Robot



It's D to the R to the Capital P

It stands for Drunken Robot Pornography

Proposed, designed, and built courtesy

of Dejobaan Mechatronic Industries



It's D to the R to the Capital P

We stand for Drunken Robot Pornography

We dreamed, we built, unleashed with glee.

We're Dejobaan Mechatronic Industries



(I saw a) robot mixing ice cream at WPI

Forward kinematics solver, hybrid power supply.

Said, "We'd like chocolate, my friend and I."

"Here is your vanilla" was its reply.



(Knew some) fuzzy-headed girls with a bachelor's degree

from Cambridge Massachusetts's MIT

Built planetary landers and a UAV

Blowing bunkers into microscopic sub-debris



Three... Laws savvy these constructs ain't

Our scientific work shows no restraint

"Lights off" factories, 'ya just press "go"

They humma in the dark with no complaint.



Af-ter sur-mounting the technical unknowns

Like power and vision, we have shown

(That) C(apek ain't got nothing on our drones

(Cause) his'll rebel, but ours'll break bones.



It's D to the R to the Capital P

(We made this) Drunken Robot Pornography

We prototyped, refined, and hacked in C

We're Dejobaan Mechatronic Industries



It's a D and an R and it ends in P

It's spoken Drunken Robot Pornography

They may rebel but they don't say "ye,"

We're Dejobaan Mechatronic Industries



As Therac-25 will perpetually tell

When you code your software, best do it well

(But) before you judge, this ain't no cautionary tale

'Cause robots aren't evil, they're cool as hell.



They shattered the notion of R. Daneel

And Old Glory's ticker... sym... bol just fell

(But) be-fore you judge, this ain't no cautionary tale

'Cause robots aren't evil, they're cool as hell.



It's D to the R to the Capital P

It stands for Drunken Robot Pornography

Proposed, designed, and built courtesy

of Dejobaan Mechatronic Industries



It's D to the R to the Capital P

It means Drunken Robot Pornography

Defined, designed, burned on CD

by Dejobaan Mechatronic Industries



It's a D and an R and an upper-case P

Spell it out Drunken Robot Pornography

Programmed to play chess and spew debris

by Dejobaan Mechatronic Industries



One-four dot D, then an R and a P

(Four)teen Point Drunken Robot Pornography

Prototyped, tested, and shipped for a fee

by Dejobaan Games, Limited Liability

Firebrand Radio interviews Dejobaan's Dan Brainerd, others

While I was at PAX East, I met many people from the press. The nicest of those people represented the "Just Press Start" program on Firebrand Radio. Sorry, all you other press people but Jeff Orloff gets the crown. It is a pretty crown.

You can hear Dan Brainerd talk about Aaaaa! in the episode "paxspec4" at http://www.firebrandradio.com/pressstart/, and if you continue to listen you can listen to Mike from Twisted Pixel talk about Comic Jumper and Sean Murray talk about Joe Danger.

Mike and Sean were both more articulate than me. I must work to correct this. There are two ways I can achieve this goal. The simpler one is to speak more slowly and think about my words. There is a harder way, one fraught with legal repercussions for myself and others... legal repercussions and pain.

Dejobaan Games, LLC has announced its next game, "14. DRUNKEN ROBOT PORNOGRAPHY," for Windows desktop PCs.

April 1st, 2010 - Watertown, MA - Dejobaan Games, LLC has announced its next game, "14. DRUNKEN ROBOT PORNOGRAPHY," for Windows desktop PCs.

You're a Titan. Human-made, and made for destroying humans. With your sharp claws, you slice and dice automobiles. With your IR emitters, you roast and broil the skin and brains (respectively) of fleeing, screaming crowds. But the most important weapon in your arsenal is pure, unadulterated terror. Make them die for a high score- but make them afraid and become a legend.

Sure, you could just crush buildings and stomp across America, but the world's governments would band together against you. Even your mighty metal form is no match for all the tanks the United Nations has to offer. It's better to unleash your reign of terror in a measured fashion. A tiny, isolated hamlet devastated by fire. An avalanche killing hundreds of tourists at the canyon where you were "born." It's not about mass destruction -- you're a surgeon. It's all about breaking apart families, and then waiting -- after your rampage, you'll stalk schoolchildren as they grow up without parents. You'll feel the spark of satisfaction in your piezoelectric heart as they live without hope. The greater the total sadness you cause at the end of your 50-year reign of metal, the greater your score.

Beta Screenshot: http://www.synthscribe.com/media/shot31.png

Level 0401: Follow the life of Penelope Raindance, a young girl who wants to grow up to be a neurosurgeon. Ruin the life of Penelope Raindance, a young girl who still has dreams inside her. She's a precocious first grader, now -- but if you do things right, you can do away with her nuclear family, scream by bloody scream, in a series of well-timed "accidents" that will leave her homeless and starving. Don't crush her body; that's too easy. Hunt down and crush her dreams wherever they might hide.

Get five out of five stars for this level and you might get a shot at the big game- you can kill the very concepts of Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. Crush them beneath your heavy metal feet! Devour them with teeth that exist solely to mangle! Be the last intelligent creature to feel joy before snuffing it out of the universe!

Availability and system requirements: 14. DRUNKEN ROBOT PORNOGRAPHY is planned for a Q3 2015 release, and will require Windows 2K/XP/Vista; a 3.5GHz processor; 6GB system memory; two USB QWERTY keyboards; a 3D card with 16MB video memory; a really really big monitor; and Microsoft DirectX 12.0. You will not need a mouse.

Dejobaan Games, LLC is an independent developer of desktop and handheld games. Since our founding in 1999, we've published thirteen titles, garnering enthusiastic reviews in print, on the Web, and on television. Visit us online at www.dejobaan.com. Happy April Fool's.

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